Reign Of Terror..Only If We Let Them Win....

We have all heard of, observed, or experienced intimidation and bullying or perhaps we have been the bully ourselves. Perhaps our children have been the victim of a bully. A bully's goal is to make us feel small, afraid and powerless. Some of the reasons for a bully's behavior are: they want to be liked so they try to show how powerful they are, or they are angry or frustrated, or they themselves have been bullied by someone else. In this way, bullying can be contagious.

Children's examples of bullying include:
Name calling
Teasing
Pushing or pulling about
Hitting or attacking
Taking a backpack and other possessions
Spreading rumors
Ignoring or leaving a child left out
Forcing money or possessions to be handed over
Attacking because of religion or color

Types of bullying;

Physical bullying happens when a child is hit, pushed, has hair pulled, and so on.

Verbal bullying, by far the most common, is name calling, making sexist and racist comments, verbal threats, cruel jokes about appearance, disabilities, religion, and other idiosyncrasies. We need to stop calling this form of abuse "teasing", which is appropriate ONLY when applied to a playful situation, when both people are having fun.

Relational bullying means gossiping or exclusion and thrives in a climate that encourages the formation of cliques. This form of bullying can become severe in middle school and high school.
Most experts agree that children aren't born bullies. Bullying is a learned behavior and behaviors can be changed. So what should we do to protect our children from bullies?

If Your Child Is Being Intimidated or Bullied:

1. Inform the school immediately if there's a problem. Record dates times, names and what happened.
2. Do not be embarrassed. Avoid blaming anyone.
3. Get as much information as you can about what is happening.
4. Discuss and role play with your child ways of dealing with a bully, including walking away and getting help and acting more assertive.
5. Try to enhance your child's courage and self-confidence.
6. Understand that bullying does not have to involve physical injury to be harmful. Continuous verbal and emotional abuse must also be prevented.
7. Watch for signs that your child is being bullied: withdrawal, loss of appetite, a drop in grades, not wanting to go to school, bruises, torn clothing, or a need for "extra" school supplies or lunch money. Talk with your child immediately if you suspect a problem.
   

4 Assertive Responses for Children to Use when Being Bullied
- Say what you SEE:"Every time I see you, you're picking on me"
- Say what you FEEL: "I don't like it! "
-Say what you WANT: "I want you to stop!"
- WALK AWAY! If there is continued intimidation/bullying, keep
walking!

*Let your child know that when they are being bullied, they can tell a safe adult to get help.

The following video is very powerful and shows us how important it is to take a stand together. Once the bully realizes that nobody is afraid of him and people are willing to stand up to him, he loses all of his power and then feels ashamed of his actions. Don't be a witness or part of the encouragement when you see this going on, step in and make a difference for the victim, show him or her that they matter and this is not right.

Not one person deserves to live this on a daily basis. No human is allowed to impose their physical strength or even worse verbal and emotional abuse against another human being. The bullies are the ones with the problem, they need to get help, counselling anything that will help them realize that what they are doing is wrong and that their "reign of terror" is over.

As adults witnessing these acts of violence and cruelty we are obligated by law to step in and do something. We cannot just stand back and watch this happen and close our eyes or turn our back to the problem. Adults that think "kids will be kids" or "let them work out their own problems" or that the victim needs to fight back physically will solve this huge problem need to realize quickly that they are only adding fuel to this situation.

The following video really gives us a true picture of bullying along with statistics that shows all of us that this has to be considered very seriously by everyone.

                                                            

Be a hero in a victim's life and show them that their life is worth living and that they are not alone any longer. Let them know that they have something wonderful to offer to others and that they matter. Go ahead and make a positive difference today, you will feel amazing!!!!

Sylvie Thibert